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Client Story 1 | Client Story 2 | Client Story 3

Client Story 1 - Advocacy Case

I am a blessed parent. While we are safe and happy now, we are also lucky to be alive. I would not be alive or even safe without the help and support that I found from The Center for Women and Families.

Six years ago I met the father of my two youngest children. At first he was sweet, charming, and the person I felt would make all my dreams come true. Unfortunately my dream became a nightmare when he became physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. He promised he would change and at first I stayed because I believed him; later I stayed because I was too scared and too emotionally weak to leave. I knew my life was at risk if I stayed, and I also knew that my life and my children’s lives were at risk if we were to leave. Things got worse and worse; he slashed my hand with a knife, he was arrested five times within a year, and the abuse became part of my daily routine. I did finally leave him and the court ordered a protective order, but he still came back. This time he stabbed me in the back and stomach and threatened to kill our unborn child, after which he was arrested again.

As a result of the arrests, the Department of Children and Families became involved to ensure my children were safe. They referred me to The Center for Women and Families where I became part of a support group with other victims of domestic violence, I received counseling, I developed future safety plans, and the staff even acted as my voice in court. Although my children and I were safe, leaving my abuser was very difficult and took a lot of work. I had to give up my job, relocate my family to an area we were not familiar with, and begin my life all over again with no money and few personal belongings. The staff at CWF was with me every step of the way, providing me with a safe and protected place. I do not know where my children and I would be today if it was not for the support, guidance and services provided to us by the Center for Women and Families.

Client Story 2 - M.I.T. Case

It is well recognized by those in the field of child abuse prevention that when a child finally feels strong enough to tell someone of an abusive situation, it is a major relief for them.

Two siblings were brought to the Multidisciplinary Investigative Team for a Forensic Interview (the collaborative effort to prevent multiple interviews of children) to discuss an on-going sexual abuse situation being perpetrated by a cousin. The young five-year-old girl was resistant to discussing anything that would have allowed the police to move forward in their investigation. When it was the nine-year-old brother's turn, it was clear that he was very tense about the situation and might not be willing to give information either.

The extremely professional interviewer spent time getting to know the child and let him become more comfortable with the setting. As the child became more relaxed, the interviewer transitioned to the formal part of the interview without the child recognizing the change. The Interviewer began explaining the procedure of the interview and told the child that "If you don't understand something, just tell me and I'll reword it for you," and "If you feel uncomfortable answering something, just say so and we'll find some other way to talk about it," etc. The child remained engaged and with just a few prompts, was able to clearly explain how the cousin had abused both him and his sister. He was even able to include that he had walked in on his sister's abuse; therefore, he was not only a victim, but also a witness to a crime.

What became even more significant about this particular interview was the visible sense of relief that came over this child after the discussion. It was clear from his body language that he was relieved to be free of the burden of this information. It was now the grown-ups' problem and they would make sure everything would be ok. He stood up straighter, he smiled easily and he was able to look more directly at the adults. It was the kind of interview that makes us all know we are doing the right kind of work.

Client Story 3 - Advocacy Case

Before I even met with my client she called on the phone crying because her electricity was being cut off, and her family was going to be evicted.

Alma was in a two parent family with five children, a 15 year old son, 13 year old daughter, 11 year old daughter, 8 year old daughter, and 3 year old son. She and her husband had been together for 14 years, and he was the father of the 4 younger children. When Alma explained her relationship with her husband, she said that the first 7 years were wonderful. He worked, was responsible, and was a great father. Then he became involved in drugs and stopped working. His drug of choice was crack cocaine and he stole money from the family household to satisfy his habit. When I met Alma, she was burying the family money in the backyard and retrieving it when her husband was asleep in order to provide for her family. There was a history of severe domestic violence in the family, but Alma said that she would never divorce her husband because she is very religious. Each time she tried to disclose any of the violent incidents to me she would choke back the tears and could not speak. In attempting to tell me about a particular incident, she could not bring herself to disclose the details of exactly what happened. She says that when he hits her with a bat it does not even compare to what happened that day. Now when he gets violent she says "Kill me, I'm already dead.”

At a meeting, Alma said that she avoids conflict when her husband is instigating an argument by becoming unresponsive to him. She said that last week he spent five straight hours belittling her, telling her that everything was her fault as she laid with her back to him crying. When asked if she could walk away when he starts arguing, she said it would become physical and the violence would escalate if she did.

At another meeting, Alma stated that the situation with her husband was worsening and influencing her children. Her 8 year old daughter had a "vision" that her father had a bat in his hand, and her daughter was crying hysterically saying “Mommy, I can't live without you,” and “Daddy, please don't hit mommy anymore.” Alma said that her husband told the daughter “'Trust God, and I won't do it anymore.” The evening after our meeting, Alma and her husband got into a physical argument. The 8 year old daughter kept crying, “You promised daddy, you promised,” but he ignored her cries. Alma called the police and her husband was put in jail.

Shortly after that incident, Alma came to the Domestic Violence support group at the Center visibly upset. We talked in private and she began crying. She reluctantly disclosed that for the first time in her 14 year relationship she was angry at her husband. The feeling immediately turned into rage. She had never felt like this before and all of the abusive memories came flooding back to her. She had to restrain herself from responding angrily towards him. Previously, Alma had been making plans to leave, and now she was determined.

One week before Christmas, I called Alma and suggested that she call Families in Transition to check for an opening at the homeless shelter for a transitional apartment. An apartment for a family of six is difficult to find; however, she knew that she would have to move that day, which was very difficult as it was so close to Christmas. I reassured her that I could help her family move by borrowing the Safe House van and we moved the family immediately. This was extremely emotional for Alma so I was there to support and praise her for doing what was best for her and her family. Currently, I am working to extend the family’s stay at the homeless shelter while still looking for other housing options.

Alma has been working as a substitute teacher for three years at a local Head Start preschool program, making approximately $7.40 an hour, and brings home $800.00 a month. She is not eligible for any benefits at her work, and does not receive sick time, vacation, or holiday pay. Summer is the most difficult period because school is not in session. Her total take home pay is not even enough for rent, not to mention utilities. We are trying to locate affordable housing; however, it is very challenging on such low income. Together, Alma and I have worked on her budget and cut down many of her expenses. Alma is very resourceful in finding help for her family through the aid of her church, food banks and various local charities.

Alma continuously fights for her family’s survival and works to improve their situation; however, it is still very painful for her. She has been a pleasure to work with because she is so dedicated to her family. Alma’s goal is to go back to adult school and obtain her GED so she will have a better income and then complete an Early Childhood program at the community college. Ultimately Alma’s goal is to be a family worker.